RTTH - Lunchtime at Burger Entropy

I was challenged to portray emotion using only dialogue (Facebook writing prompt). This is the hilarious (and hereby canon) product of that challenge.


"Don't do it, Ramy."

"Why not, Runge? I just paid for this. It's just a burger. Stop cramping my style."

"There is no style in eating THAT. What on Riesel is that...white thing? And why does it smell so bad?"

"It's Swiss cheese. Popular on Earth. I dunno, it doesn't smell that bad. I wanted to try it."

"No. Do not. I don't trust it."

"Too bad. This is something I have to do. I'll feel like a wuss otherwise."

"But what if it makes you smell like that?"

"Then I'll smell like that. It'll make a good you-repellent."

"C'mon, Ramy. Don't be like that. We're like two peas in a pod."

"Yeah, if the pod is a mile long and has a single pea in each end."

"What if it makes you fat?"

"I'm already fat. It keeps you and the other brain-dead thugs on this trashy planet from hitting on me."

"What if...you get a cramp?"

"Runge, I'm eating the burger."

"Don't narrow your eyes like that. It hurts all my feels."

"Yeah, remind me to write a sympathy card. And since when did you, the unabashed assassin, have 'feels?' "

"Okay, fine. Eat it. Don't blame me if you end up as a reddened crater or a waddling mass."

"I take solace in the fact that if I explode, I'm taking you with me."


"Taking the first bite now. Oh hey, this really is delicious."

"I hear the proverbial timer. Only a few seconds left."

"Until I replace your nose with a fist? Wow, this is some insane flavor."

"Failure has a flavor?"

"I wouldn't know. I haven't licked you before. Oh man, this is good."

"Stop toying with me."

"Mmmmm, nothing I taste after this will be the same. I think I found my favorite food."

"Ramy, you heartless savage."

"This is so good."

"Oh, so you...think I should try it?"

"I dunno, should you? You were cowering in tearful fear a moment ago."

"It was just precaution."

"Prove your manhood by getting one of these."

"FINE. But if I find someone else in my seat when I get back, you will be scolded mercilessly."

- Roystonn Pruitt, 9/15/13