I was challenged to portray emotion using only dialogue (Facebook writing prompt). This is the hilarious (and hereby canon) product of that challenge.
"Don't do it, Ramy."
"Why not, Runge? I just paid for this. It's just a burger. Stop cramping my style."
"There is no style in eating THAT. What on Riesel is that...white thing? And why does it smell so bad?"
"It's Swiss cheese. Popular on Earth. I dunno, it doesn't smell that bad. I wanted to try it."
"No. Do not. I don't trust it."
"Too bad. This is something I have to do. I'll feel like a wuss otherwise."
"But what if it makes you smell like that?"
"Then I'll smell like that. It'll make a good you-repellent."
"C'mon, Ramy. Don't be like that. We're like two peas in a pod."
"Yeah, if the pod is a mile long and has a single pea in each end."
"What if it makes you fat?"
"I'm already fat. It keeps you and the other brain-dead thugs on this trashy planet from hitting on me."
"What if...you get a cramp?"
"Runge, I'm eating the burger."
"Don't narrow your eyes like that. It hurts all my feels."
"Yeah, remind me to write a sympathy card. And since when did you, the unabashed assassin, have 'feels?' "
"Okay, fine. Eat it. Don't blame me if you end up as a reddened crater or a waddling mass."
"I take solace in the fact that if I explode, I'm taking you with me."
"Taking the first bite now. Oh hey, this really is delicious."
"I hear the proverbial timer. Only a few seconds left."
"Until I replace your nose with a fist? Wow, this is some insane flavor."
"Failure has a flavor?"
"I wouldn't know. I haven't licked you before. Oh man, this is good."
"Stop toying with me."
"Mmmmm, nothing I taste after this will be the same. I think I found my favorite food."
"Ramy, you heartless savage."
"This is so good."
"Oh, so you...think I should try it?"
"I dunno, should you? You were cowering in tearful fear a moment ago."
"It was just precaution."
"Prove your manhood by getting one of these."
"FINE. But if I find someone else in my seat when I get back, you will be scolded mercilessly."
- Roystonn Pruitt, 9/15/13