Quizzes with Wolves

I told my book characters about another questionnaire. I failed to tell them it was a dating quiz. Oops.

1) What do you do for work? - 

Runge: Retrieval specialist and wetwork. I like saying that because it sounds fancy.

Ramy: He means bounty hunter and assassin. Same for me, minus the last part.

Runge: You do assassinations, too.

Ramy: I...don't like to advertise it. It's not fun for me...unlike how it is for you.

Runge: As I said in the last quiz, life is a video game, and I'm aiming for the high score.

Ramy: Lifetime incarceration in a hypermax facility, I see.

Runge: Yeah, probably one of the ones on a planet that's orbiting way too close to its star.

Ramy: Only the best for you, of course.


2) Where are you from? - 

Runge: Do we really need to get into biology?

Ramy: Hoooo, clever. Everyone is laughing. Ha. Ha. Ha. Runge meant to say Ahjri, a planet. Same for me, although my surrogate homeworld is Audonika.


3) What is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know? - 

Runge: I do magic tricks from time to time. I can transform someone's brain into paint with a simple twitch of my finger!

Ramy: It'd be either "I won't date you. Stop asking," or something about books. I can also translate Runge's insane babblings into coherent words.


4) When was your last relationship and how long did it last? - 

Runge: Last night, probably about ten minutes.

Ramy: Next.


5) What are you looking for in a relationship? - 

Runge: If she's not stupid, fat, ugly, or religious, I'm very open.

Ramy: Not looking for a relationship right now...but I know for certain he won't be on drugs.


6) What do you think is the most important value in a relationship? - 

Runge: Probably the virtue of lust.

Ramy: I guess compatibility...?


7 ) Do you want to marry or have you ever been married? - 

Runge: Nah, I'm good. I keep it simple with nightly flings.

Ramy: I'll think about it when I'm far away from this filthy planet...and the filthy thing that keeps hanging around me.

Runge: You mean your tail? You never groom it.

Ramy: No.

Runge: Surely not me, right? Right?

Ramy: Oh, perish the thought. Surely I was talking about some other blue-furred maniac.

Runge: Just making sure.


8) What do you look for in a husband/wife? - 

Runge: If by "wife" you mean "non-committed partner," I'll say a hot body and open mind.

Ramy: Is this a dating questionnaire? Really?


9) Do you want/do you have any children? - 

Runge: Never.

Ramy: It is a dating questionnaire. Great.


10) What do you do for fun? - 

Runge: Gaming, clubbing (in every meaning), [REDACTED], and sleeping.

Ramy: Reading good books and hanging out with my online friends.


11) What are you most proud about? - 

Runge: My fighting skills and my gorgeous body.

Ramy: My collection of books!


12) Is religion important to you? - 


Ramy: Not really, but I'm not against people who value it.


13) Do you follow politics? - 

Runge: Another good one. Is this writer a comedian or what?

Ramy: I read the news on occasion. Political topics pop up regularly; sometimes I read them. Most of them are about Riesel's mafia government forming alliances, making deals, or crushing opposition. Otherwise, it's political stuff from other worlds that isn't terribly important.


14) Do you believe in love at first sight? - 

Runge: Yes, but I believe the correct word is "lust."

Ramy: It can happen, but not often.


15) What is your most treasured possession and why? - 

Runge: Probably my bank account, because it technically is treasure.

Ramy: Books!


16) What is your favorite month of the year and why? - 

Runge: The one with summer.

Ramy: If we're discussing climate, it depends on which planet you're on, the latitude and local geography, and which calendar you use. According to one of the Human calendars, I guess May since my birthday is on the 7th of that month. Not that it's really any different from any other day on this horrible planet.


17) Which is your favorite book/movie? - 

Runge: I'll ignore the first part and say...why just one?

Ramy: The Intriguing Journeys of McNaught and Larson! It's a rather popular series on my home planet.


18) Which is the last book you read? - 

Runge: Next.

Ramy: The Intriguing Journeys of McNaught and Larson, Volume 23. Still reading it!


19) Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do? - 

Runge: An enhanced version of what I do already.

Ramy: I'll actually have to agree with Runge on this one. Once we get recognized by non-Riesel entities who want bounty hunters, we can move to a better place.


20) Which is your favorite music and your favorite singer/band? - 

Runge: Too many bands to list. I like anything heavy and noisy. Gabber and speedcore come to mind.

Ramy: I like softer techy music such as house and progressive.


21) Do you like animals/keep pets? - 

Runge: They create dust and poop. No.

Ramy: Not at the moment, but I wouldn't mind having a terrarium someday.


22) How do you spend your spare time? - 

Runge: Gaming and clubbing.

Ramy: Reading and socializing, with some gaming here and there.


23) Where do you see yourself in five years time? - 

Runge: Sitting on a golden throne, preferably covered in women.

Ramy: Hopefully successful enough to be hired to hunt bounties galaxywide.


24) If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be? - 

Runge: Probably an apex predator.

Ramy: I dunno. Maybe a Runge due to its blissful lack of awareness and tendency to not give a fart about anything around it.


25) Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full? - 

Runge: Cups tend to become empty if they get close to me, especially if they contain alcohol.

Ramy: It's hard to be positive on Riesel, but I'd like to think half full.


26) If you could travel back through time, what single mistake would you correct in life? - 

Runge: None at all. This is where I like to be.

Ramy: The list is kinda long. Let's not delve into it.


27) You have got six months to live, what will you do first? - 

Runge: Party hard enough to reduce that number to 2 months, probably less.

Ramy: Seek a second opinion. Or if it's absolute, then...I dunno. Read as many books as possible. Maybe rebuild a few bridges.


28) Is sexual compatibility important to you? - 


Ramy: ...What?


29) Who was your hero, as a child? - 

Runge: I had a few favorite cartoon characters.

Ramy: Book characters for me.


30) If you won a lottery, how would you spend your millions? - 

Runge: Untold amounts of booze and women. And new gear.

Ramy: I'd probably invest so those "millions" could become "billions."


31) Which was the first crush you ever had? - 

Runge: Some chick in first grade.

Ramy: I had plenty in grade school. I don't remember my first.


32) What makes you laugh/cry? - 

Runge: I laugh at people who cry. If I had the capability of crying, I'd shed a tear for all the weak men out there who cry.

Ramy: I laugh at good jokes. I cry when Runge tries to tell them.


33) If you have friends coming over, what would you cook? - 

Runge: Some prepackaged thing. Not that anyone visits the base. It's kind of secret.

Ramy: I have no idea.


34) Describe your perfect holiday. - 

Runge: A huge celebration of booze, lounging, and promiscuity.

Ramy: A quiet cabin by a lake with a good Internet connection.

Runge: The lake has an Internet connection?

Ramy: ...and not a single Runge to stain the scenery.


35) Which T.V. program would you never miss? - 

Runge: Ones with dirty jokes and fanservice. No shortage of those.

Ramy: I keep up with a lot, so it's hard to say.


36) What is the last CD you bought? - 

Runge: Teehee, "bought." That's cute.

Ramy: I just buy music downloads.


37) Are you a morning person or a night person? - 

Runge: I consider noon to be breakfast time.

Ramy: I try to get up at a decent time, so I guess quasi-morning person.


38) Would you like to climb a mountain or trek across a desert? - 

Runge: Any jerk can put on a cooling suit and hike a desert. It takes real skill to climb a planet's acne.

Ramy: Eh, I guess a mountain?


39) What adjective would a close friend use to describe you? - 


Ramy: I guess "funny" or "snarky". I do try to have fun around my friends, especially when Runge isn't around.


40) If you could live anywhere in the world (or galaxy), where would it be? - 

Runge: A large penthouse on Laciluthe. It's a very wealthy urban planet, so I'll need to be there eventually.

Ramy: Probably a ranch house on Ahjri or Audonika, respectively my homeworld and surrogate homeworld. Either those or some other planet that isn't clogged with buildings or industry and has nice scenery with fresh air. You know, the opposite of Riesel.


41) Into which personality’s shoes would you like to step for a day? - 

Runge: Preferably one that's ridiculously rich.

Ramy: A literal personality type or a TV personality such a talk show host? I'll try the first explanation and go with a less-stressed personality, maybe one that is largely apathetic to the idiots of the galaxy. As it is, they annoy me too much.


42) Who is your favorite actor/actress/celebrity and why? - 

Runge: I have a few favorites from action movies. They act pretty good.

Ramy: I dunno.


43) Who is your favorite sportsperson? - 

Runge: A few from the racing circuits.

Ramy: I don't watch sports that often.


44) What is your favorite sporting activity? - 

Runge: Online gaming.

Ramy: Same.


45) Which is your favorite genre of movies - comedy/thriller/action? - 

Runge: Horror, action, suspense, and some combination of the three.

Ramy: Action and comedy!

Runge: Hey Ramy, I think thw quiz is over.

Ramy: I think so, too. And watch your spelling.

Runge: Was there a moral to this story?

Ramy: Maybe in some obscure, twisted philosophical sense, but you'd need a microscope to see it.

Runge: I wonder when the next one will be, and if we'll be forced to do it. You know, like this one.

Ramy: We'll just have to wait and see.




Quiz was originally found here.