Call or Visit


111 Riesel Road
Utqiagvik, AK 99723
(212) 555-0123

Monday – Friday: 3:30PM – 3:31PM
Saturday: No
Sunday: Go Away



Do you have stuff to say to Mr. Pruitt? Look no further! Please do not spam, though. Contact must mean something. Mr. Pruitt does not want to wake up at 4am seeing a request for the best chocolate chip muffin recipe on the planet, regardless if the planet in question is Riesel, Earth, or somewhere else in the galaxy. He cannot deal with this. He needs his sleep so he can continue to provide content for your reading pleasure. Please respect Mr. Pruitt's sanity and only hail for communications when necessary. Thank you.

Note: Messages that contain anger, malice, arguments, criticism, sexual content, malicious software, story ideas, and muffinphobic material will all be completely ignored. Think before you type!

General Inquiries


Really, if you want to bug me for information, please include your name, email, best time to contact, reason for contact, and the message itself.

Possible reasons for contact can include, but are not limited to: Business, Casual, Legal, Praise, Query, Rant, Death Threat, Life Threat, Love Threat, Recipes.

Response not guaranteed, restrictions apply, results may vary.