This is the horrifying result of a writing prompt that I created for a sci-fi group on Facebook. What I created is what TV Tropes calls a "Dada Ad". Below is the prompt, followed by my entry.

"Your goal is to write an advertisement for a fictional product, and have at least one character react to the advertisement. Is the product generic and boring? Is it so over-the-top that nobody would buy it? Is it so over-the-top that EVERYONE would buy it? Is the ad so weird and non-indicative of the product it promotes that the character thinks it was made by people on drugs? Would your character be groaning with exasperation or drooling with desire?"

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The camera panned across a vast, green field, set to the tune of a thunderous orchestra. At the same time, a flock of birds sang a happy song while traversing the clear blue sky above. A lone tree came into view, prompting the camera to abruptly zoom in on it. Without warning, the tree uprooted itself and began moving toward a herd of cows, using its roots like the tentacles of an octopus.

Two of the tree's branches reached down and began juggling three of the cows […]